Thoughts, Topics

The Truth About Friendship

It’s been a while since I last wrote so let’s just get right to it.

I’m flawed. I’m flawed in my opinion. Everyone is in their own way. Opinions are what keep the world turning, and that starts with being true to your own voice.  I just wanna put that up front to begin because I believe in honesty. I hate sometimes that when people write, we try and go about writing in an unbiased way, yet personal opinion always bleeds through somewhere. That’s where I’m at right now in this post. I believe that honesty is the best way to express yourself, and by changing your style to fit someones “likes and dislikes” isn’t being true to yourself. So here is my mini-rant from a truthful heart.

I hate the term “friendship.” It’s too broad. A real “friend” has to meet a certain standard. Let’s call a “normal” friend an acquaintance for this demonstration. An acquaintance will talk to you, say hi, and maybe hang out with you once or twice a month, and not really communicate with you outside of “hanging out.” A friend, on the other hand is all about the relationship. We were all made for each other. Relationships are built into our DNA, that’s why we hate being lonely and get mad when people turn us down when we offer to hang out with them. That’s what separates my definition of “friendship” from a simple “acquaintance” in this example. A friend will have long conversations with you, take walks with you, listen to your problems. Friends will criticize or give constructive input when it’s needed, but otherwise will always support you and give you advice that can help in the long run. An acquaintance will get told a secret of yours and blab it to everyone you know. A friend will take that secret to heart, and guard that knowledge with integrity. Friends don’t go around bad mouthing other friends, immature kids do that. Friends understand when situations come up, and are always willing to be there and listen/ give support to each other. Too often today we get calls or texts or snaps from “friends” who just need to vent and say what’s on their mind, but too often we will play it off as a joke, or not give the matter our full attention and then share the conversation with everyone they know. And like I said at the beginning of the post, I’m guilty of this too. We all are. I’m at a point in my life where I’ve realized the full range of effects that a crappy relationship can have on a person. Too often these days I see my friends, yes friends getting hurt by careless, thoughtless “acquaintances” only posing as friends. It does way too much damage to someone when they are lied to, or cheated on, or talked about in an untrue manor. Have I painted an okay picture yet? I hate lecturing, rambling, whatever I seem to be doing right now… I really do, but as a recent college graduate, I though we’d be behind all this nonsense. It’s time we all grew up and learned to treat people the way we want to be treated. This all applies to dating too. Girls play guys, guys play girls; it’s all the same. Everything boils down to honesty. Where does your heart lie? A true friend sticks it out till the end (pardon the corny expression), and shows loyalty and love, not leaving any room for doubts. An acquaintance looks for the ulterior motive, never trying to really connect with a person.

All in all, I just want to say that we need to evaluate how we treat others. It’s hard to see one another struggle when someone puts us down, and it hurts us as the one who’s trying to help the situation when the acquaintance keeps hurting the friend over and over again. All we need is consistency, honesty, and love. Without those things, we are left with pain, anger, bitterness, depression, or rejection. No one likes being on the receiving end of that kind of behavior, but we also need to make sure we aren’t a source or distributor for hate either. This is what true friendship is: listening, loving, caring, trying. Don’t just do something for someone to be liked, for status, or for some ulterior motive. Do it because you mean it, do it to bring them happiness. If you value someone enough to call them a friend, then put effort into it and share life with them. We aren’t here on earth for that long, and God gave us each other for a reason. We aren’t here to sit around and criticize each other behind backs or half-ass relationships. We’re here to build long lasting relationships that succeed; ones that build us up, and keep us going. While we’re at it we should always appreciate one another and never let someone go a day without telling that friend they’re loved. Try this tomorrow, today, whenever you read this: go up to a friend you love/value/appreciate (a real friend, not just an acquaintance) and tell them thanks. Tell them thanks for listening, for being honest, for being understanding, and for loving. We all need to hear those words every now and again. Just make sure to be the same type of friend back to them because they deserve it.

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”